officialunitedstates:

The reason why different floors of buildings are called “stories” is because each floor has a different story within its walls.

On the fifth floor is Mrs. Marigold, who lives with a cat who hates her and desperately wants to get away but doesn’t know how.  The cat isn’t smart enough to figure out how to open the door and Mrs. Marigold never lets her cat out without a leash on. 

On the ninth floor lives Beth and Rupert, a newlywed couple who are both jealous of each others’ job.  Beth is a stock broker for a big stock exchange while Rupert is an urban gardener.  Beth recently got more into gardening, while Rupert is fascinated by the nuances of the stock market.  They’d both love to do each others’ job but are devastated by the fact that the companies they work for would never allow them to switch.

On the tenth floor is Old Man McDoonald, who hates his name because everyone thinks it’s McDonald, when it isn’t.  It’s McDoonald.  He wishes all of his neighbors, especially that no-good-troublemaker Jimmy Louis from across the hall, would stop singing that awful nursery rhyme about the animals.  It’s McDoonald.  He’s made himself perfectly clear.

On the fifteenth floor is Charles, a sad young man who pays the bills by streaming himself playing video games.  Forced to play past the point of enjoyment, CharlieGamer93 scrapes by a meager living playing hours upon hours of the latest games, desperately hoping that he’ll gain a handful of subscribers each day.  Some days he forgets to eat, but that’s actually superior to the alternative because it means less bathroom breaks and more videos for his demanding audience.

On the sixteenth floor, everyone is really happy and boring.  Nothing to report there.